Advice Wanted - Sell the Lakefront House or Keep it in the Family?

[castlebreakfast]

I grew up in a house on the north side of the lake (moultonboro) that remains very dear to me. My two brothers and I have long since grown up and moved out but we still visit to enjoy the lake, the surrounding area of mountains and beauty, and so on. We didn't have any other houses - we lived in it year round and my parents continue to do so (which made us the rare year-rounders in our neighborhood of summer homes).

Now my parents are getting older and my father is thinking of selling the house and downsizing to a smaller dwelling closer to a city where he and my mom can live. His reasons for doing so include: downsizing as mentioned, the tough cold winters in NH, his desire to be closer to Boston to take advantage of the cultural and other opportunities of the city. But Most importantly, he wants his 3 children and wife to get the substantial inheritance such a sale would offer - he spent something like 20+ years paying off the mortgage and the last time the house/property was appraised (years ago now) its value was around $700,000, so now it's probably (we hope) substantially more. It's his biggest asset by far and I am not positive how much the inheritance would be if the house is not sold. It's a 2 story on about 2 acres.

However, we can't get rid of the nagging feeling that despite the benefits that would accrue to us, we could be missing out on a treasure if we "lose" this house by selling it. This is our favorite place in the world (not the house structure itself necessarily - just its precise location on the lake (it's a lake + mountain view facing due west) and the access to the surrounding area). I like the idea of having it as a place our families can enjoy whenever we want in the years to come - but we also understand the value of an inheritance like this and the needs of my father and mother who have different considerations from mine and who after all still live in the house year round (I am only there perhaps 6 weeks out of the year now). The winters do get tough as mentioned, and the house structure and dock have not been renovated in many years - it's in fairly poor shape actually and the new owners will have to do a lot of renovation work, though it's still livable as is. One thing to note is that we don't actually use a boat anymore ever since my father sold his so we're not as avid users of the lake itself as we used to be. Water depth is decent but water quality is 'mucky' and not great. The view faces due west and you get fantastic sunsets over a mountain.

We're just worried that if the house is sold, we'll regret it and will feel grief over losing the gem we could have kept.

One option - the neighbor's house has been in his family for a few generations now (so they at least chose to go the route of keeping the house rather than selling it) – and they rent it out - so perhaps my brothers and I could rent that house for a week or two at a time each year if our house gets sold? Though of course we wouldn't have that nice feeling of permanence (how long will the neighbors be renting out their place for after all?) and *ownership* that you get from being able to call your house your own.

Any thoughts or advice from this community would be very much appreciated! I understand that this may not be the right place for such a post – and ultimately it's a personal decision on our part – but I figured I'd reach out to other Winnipesaukee people to get their takes - thanks for reading.

[hd333]

Can you and your brothers convince your dad move and to keep the house and you guys carry the yearly taxes and upkeep for him, assuming you can swing it.

If so why sell unless your Dad needs the money to make the move to MA, in which case your assumed inheritance will get eaten up in the new house.

Would you rather inherit cash or an asset?

Ultimately it is your Dads decision to make, its his house.



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[Biggd]

Now is a great time to sell. I would at least get an appraisal and then decide.
If it's a big windfall then he could afford to give his children some money now and they could go buy their own vacation homes.

[castlebreakfast]

Originally Posted by Biggd

Now is a great time to sell. I would at least get an appraisal and then decide.
If it's a big windfall then he could afford to give his children some money now and they could go buy their own vacation homes.

Yes this thought has crossed our minds as well - it's tough b/c there's a lot of nostalgic value in a house you grow up on and you think about having your kids and grandkids and friends etc enjoying that house if it stays in the family - I've always dreamed of having a house on Winnipesaukee as a second home if I ever earn enough money to do so – and I'd love for that house to be this one - but given how prices for Winni houses now are through the roof I'm not sure if I will ever seriously be able to afford one unless I do very well in life (I'm still fairly young) - so that's why there's that feeling of losing something very special that you can't get back again

[tummyman]

We have known others who sold under similar situations and REALLY regretted it after the fact. My advice...hold it forever. If you sell, it is unlikely you will afford to rebuy at some future point. If the house is a second home for your father, he will be faced with capital gains tax on the sale....could eat into whatever inheritance you might expect. Stop worrying about inheritance $$$'s...you cannot put a value on the memories you will loose forever. As others suggested, help by paying the taxes and ongoing maintenance. Your dad will be very appreciative that you are preserving this place because of all the favorable memories. Just think how your kids/grandkids will have the same experiences. Selling, unless these is a desperate need for the money, makes for a bad experience. HOLD IT !!

[8gv]

Sell it.

Here’s why:

It is heart breaking for parents to see there kids have a poor relationship with each other.

The potential for that is high because each of you will need to start paying for real estate tax, insurance, utilities and maintenance.

Splitting that equally will still cause trouble because each sibling will value the use of the house differently.

The one that uses it most will be looked upon to pay more.

The one that uses it least will wish to sell.

All this assumes that no extraordinary financial factors come about for the house or siblings that own it.

There goes the relationship!

To everything a season.

Sell it now.

[Biggd]

Originally Posted by 8gv

Sell it.

Here’s why:

It is heart breaking for parents to see there kids have a poor relationship with each other.

The potential for that is high because each of you will need to start paying for real estate tax, insurance, utilities and maintenance.

Splitting that equally will still cause trouble because each sibling will value the use of the house differently.

The one that uses it most will be looked upon to pay more.

The one that uses it least will wish to sell.

All this assumes that no extraordinary financial factors come about for the house or siblings that own it.

There goes the relationship!

To everything a season.

Sell it now.

We ran into this issue with a camp my inlaws had. When they passed there were disagreements between the 5 siblings. 3 wanted to sell, 2 wanted to keep it. In the end one sibling bought out the other 4. Now they all have their own second homes.

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[mswlogo]

We just went through that. Hardest thing we ever went through.

After we sold it, we now regret it, so much so we bought another place.

But it was not our full time home.

If you do want to sell, now is good time. But that's exactly what messed us up. We sold for the wrong reasons.

[castlebreakfast]

Originally Posted by mswlogo

We just went through that. Hardest thing we ever went through.

After we sold it, we now regret it, so much so we bought another place.

But it was not our full time home.

If you do want to sell, now is good time. But that's exactly what messed us up. We sold for the wrong reasons.

may I ask what those wrong reasons were?

[mswlogo]

Originally Posted by castlebreakfast

may I ask what those wrong reasons were?

When COVID hit we saw properties selling like crazy down in MA, in the burbs. We fled MA to hideout at our place in NH. We asked a realtor how things were doing and they said extremely good (this was in March). We had always thought about "upgrading" or combining our home in MA and NH for one that would be easier in Winter and lower in total taxes. But we never moved on it. The COVID "bubble" was our excuse to move on it. The realtor also gave us an estimate of selling price which was $300K over what I ever expected to get.

We were so busy prepping the place for sale we didn't stop to think about what we were doing. The next thing you know it's sold. All I saw was $$$. And it was not until we started packing we thought, what did we just do? The closer and closer the day came that we had to move out we wear in tears every day !!

The taxes were extremely high and houses literally 3 houses over of the same value were paying half the taxes (different town). I always felt like we never owned it, but rented it, so it wouldn't be very hard to stop "renting it". It was $1300/mo. And we probably only used it in total 3 months a year. So that's like $5000/mo. But I'd pay that tax in heart beat now. We did own it and I see the owner enjoying all the work I put into it.

The good news is the new owners appreciate it for what it is and are already buddy buddy with the great neighbors we had. But if we could turn back the clock there is no doubt in our minds it would be with us until we are both in our graves.

[MeredithMan]

First, despite what you and/or your brothers might want, if your parents' name is on the deed, it is ultimately their decision. You can certainly try to influence their decision, but ultimately it's their call. I would also highly recommend that your parents consult an estate planning attorney, in the event they do not have one already. (Not a real estate atty who does wills on the side, but a true estate planning atty who is knowledgeable of trusts and estates). If your parents chose to keep the home for your and your siblings benefit, ownership could be transferred either while they are alive or after they are deceased. If they choose to sell the home and intend to pass on the remaining cash to the kids after they are gone, the estate atty can also help that happen via trusts, without things going to probate and being contested.

Just making the assumption that selling the house now will result in a pile of cash inheritance later is a bad assumption, unless it is handled properly via trusts. Example: parents sell the house and have the cash. Mom dies and dad remarries and decides to leave everything to the new wife. You and your brothers are SOL. Or, Dad dies without a will and the new wife fights you and your brothers for his $$.

If your family dynamic is such that you and your brothers and Mom and Dad can sit down and have an open honest discussion about what to do with the lake house, I would highly encourage you to do so, and then whatever the decision is, have an estate/trust atty write it up

[mswlogo]

Originally Posted by MeredithMan

First, despite what you and/or your brothers might want, if your parents' name is on the deed, it is ultimately their decision. You can certainly try to influence their decision, but ultimately it's their call. I would also highly recommend that your parents consult an estate planning attorney, in the event they do not have one already. (Not a real estate atty who does wills on the side, but a true estate planning atty who is knowledgeable of trusts and estates). If your parents chose to keep the home for your and your siblings benefit, ownership could be transferred either while they are alive or after they are deceased. If they choose to sell the home and intend to pass on the remaining cash to the kids after they are gone, the estate atty can also help that happen via trusts, without things going to probate and being contested.

Just making the assumption that selling the house now will result in a pile of cash inheritance later is a bad assumption, unless it is handled properly via trusts. Example: parents sell the house and have the cash. Mom dies and dad remarries and decides to leave everything to the new wife. You and your brothers are SOL. Or, Dad dies without a will and the new wife fights you and your brothers for his $$.

If your family dynamic is such that you and your brothers and Mom and Dad can sit down and have an open honest discussion about what to do with the lake house, I would highly encourage you to do so, and then whatever the decision is, have an estate/trust atty write it up

I think it makes perfect sense to help them sort it out. The parents are doing what they think is best for their children. If the children value the property more than the $$$ don't you think they should speak up and say no dad please don't give it up. They might need to sort out how they get them out of the hard winter if they decide to keep it. But I think it's smart to be involved and ask for options here.

My gut response is help them find a place in Florida for winters. It's not exactly pleasant in Winters near Boston either Sometimes it can be worse than NH. Lot's of ice storms and Nor'easters might hit MA and miss NH. NH often gets the nice fluffy snow Many winters we had more snow in MA than NH.

[Hubbard]

Wow, there is so much good advice here, and as you can see, there is no easy or right answer. I recently went through this with our family and VERY long story short, we kept it in the family. I have 2 siblings: one had no interest, and one loves the cottage as much as I do, but could not afford it. So when my parents passed, my husband and I bought out my siblings with the intention of keeping it as a family home. (Also, I had been planning financially for this for many years). We pay for everything, my sister and her husband pitch in with "sweat equity" as much as they can (which we appreciate). We all enjoy being there together, and has really worked out well. I will just say this: not all decisions are financial decisions. But also, do not underestimate how much deferred maintenance on an older place will cost. It never ends! But it was inconceivable for me to give up our place, and I knew that once it was gone, there would never be a way to come close to replacing it. Best of luck to you with this tough decision.

[Mr. V]

Let him sell it.

It's what your dad wants, and hey, you can't ever have too much money.

You no longer spend a lot of time there and probably wouldn't in the future, so it might later seem to be a money pit, an albatross around your neck.

Rent a place on those rare occasions when you need a lake fix.

[Descant]

Many good insights here. What I don't see is any consideration of grandchildren or great grandchildren. My father asked everybody about keeping the camp. His children and grandchildren, noting that at that point, one grandchild was only 6. But he had seen and we have seen many many families sell and only a few years later regretting that they didn't make every effort to keep the place until the next generation could afford it. We can all think of good money management plans that will make it possible to afford the place, especially since there is no mortgage.
Some history, as just one example.
In 1986, we established a realty trust with 5 shareholders. Three of them were grandchildren, to under 18. There was no money in the trust, but Dad paid the taxes and the rest was DIY. In 1991, he and my mother did some more estate planning, again establishing unfunded trusts for future needs. While they were in Florida that winter, they decided to move to a retirement community in NH which we arranged. As they were moving, they established NH residence. Dad died unexpectedly, but as a NH resident, even for only a few days, he and Mom saved a bundle in Massachusetts estate taxes. Over the next 35 years we funded the trusts, having sold the Massachusetts house, and retirement savings for example. Each year everybody involved as heirs got an annual stipend and a little went into the original realty trust. These were "gifts", so no income tax. The kids' money went towards "education", but not necessarily college tuition. Note that if you have large sums of money in the wrong name you may not be eligible for some scholarships or other tuition aid. Two of the original five shareholders didn't have a lot of interest in camp, but no problem, since nobody was asking them for money. My sister gave her shares to her granddaughter, moving things along to the next generation. Just a simple letter of transfer.
I know that was somewhat lengthy, but the point is, if you can see how it works, you may see how something might work for your family.
Key points:
Estate planning is very important
Establishing residence in Boston, MA can be hazardous to your financial
health
Regardless of where you live, a NH Trust does not pay NH Interest and
Dividends tax
Taking money in large lumps almost always incurs large taxes, at higher tax
rates

Aside: Spending 6 weeks at camp is a dream for thousands of folks who only get to do weekends. College tuition saving is way overrated. Your kids will go to college one way or another. They may never again have a place on Lake Wiinipesaukee.

[castlebreakfast]

Originally Posted by mswlogo

When COVID hit we saw properties selling like crazy down in MA, in the burbs. We fled MA to hideout at our place in NH. We asked a realtor how things were doing and they said extremely good (this was in March). We had always thought about "upgrading" or combining our home in MA and NH for one that would be easier in Winter and lower in total taxes. But we never moved on it. The COVID "bubble" was our excuse to move on it. The realtor also gave us an estimate of selling price which was $300K over what I ever expected to get.

We were so busy prepping the place for sale we didn't stop to think about what we were doing. The next thing you know it's sold. All I saw was $$$. And it was not until we started packing we thought, what did we just do? The closer and closer the day came that we had to move out we wear in tears every day !!

The taxes were extremely high and houses literally 3 houses over of the same value were paying half the taxes (different town). I always felt like we never owned it, but rented it, so it wouldn't be very hard to stop "renting it". It was $1300/mo. And we probably only used it in total 3 months a year. So that's like $5000/mo. But I'd pay that tax in heart beat now. We did own it and I see the owner enjoying all the work I put into it.

The good news is the new owners appreciate it for what it is and are already buddy buddy with the great neighbors we had. But if we could turn back the clock there is no doubt in our minds it would be with us until we are both in our graves.

Wow - and have you thought about maybe doing a vacation rental near the same spot so that you can enjoy the area still (though without owning anymore obviously)? That's what we have been talking about

[Sue Doe-Nym]

This has to be one of the hardest decisions a retired couple must make because of all the ramifications involved. We have heard horror stories of family members really going at it because of disagreements as to how the inherited property can be used, how to split usage, renting it out vs. using it, how to deal with expenses such as property taxes, repairs, etc, etc.....the list of conflicts can be endless....and make no mistake about it: when it comes to $$$, it can get really ugly. In a perfect world, we would leave our waterfront property to our daughter and son and family, with everything in good working order, including all the furniture, furnishings, water toys, even the stacks of games we have enjoyed on the porch year after year. That would be a perfect solution (for us). Would there be arguments and disagreements? Guaranteed. However, if we are no longer here, its not our problem, so hopefully they would work it out. It’s definitely a dilemma.

[mswlogo]

Originally Posted by castlebreakfast

Wow - and have you thought about maybe doing a vacation rental near the same spot so that you can enjoy the area still (though without owning anymore obviously)? That's what we have been talking about

We rented before we initially bought in 1986. My wife's parents rented her entire life (that is what introduced me to the lake life). Her dad always wanted to buy something but her mom refused, she was always worried about the burden of the extra work and cost of owning. They both loved the lake and were thrilled when we bought a place and visited often. They are both passed now.

After owning for 34 years I don't think we could go back to renting. It's not the same. We would go year round and cross country ski on the lake. We'd even go up for one day sometimes. We definitely would take all our vacation time in the summer though.

We did consider buying something just off the lake and getting/ renting a slip. But I know us, it would be too much "work" to go play. It needs to ready on short notice.

Honey, it's 7:30 let's go on the Hobie Kayak for the sunset. Even that took 20 minutes to get ready and sometimes we'd skip. My wife never liked being rushed. But I was happy with 20 minutes.

By the way you could rent the property out part of the time to help things financially. I personally never wanted to deal with renting. But I would/will if that meant the different of keeping it.

[FlyingScot]

You love the lake. Don't give it up for mere money

[Mr. V]

Whether the OP loves the lake is irrelevant.

It is not his property, it is his parents, and up to them to decide the issue.

His post leads me to suspect that in order for his parents to afford to relocate they must sell the lake property.

I for one would never want to live on the lake in my dotage, due to lousy health care in the area, sparse shopping choices and yes, boredom: I doubt dad snowmobiles or skis anymore.

It is unfair to one's parents to "guilt trip" them into hanging onto an old property when they'd rather move to a new location which would afford them a better quality of life.

[winterh]

The place I bought 7 years ago was in the sellers family for 60 years. Common story of home being passed down and a group of siblings with different financial situations and different interest in lake. Some lived nearby and used a lot, others moved away and did not use much if at all. I have become friendly with the ones who treasured it and they are regular renters. I give them a good rate and I enjoy having them back as I know how much they treasure it. Neighbors house was same situation going back 60 years and it just sold. Hopefully I will be long gone when it comes to that for my place so I won't have to see it go.

[castlebreakfast]

Originally Posted by winterh

The place I bought 7 years ago was in the sellers family for 60 years. Common story of home being passed down and a group of siblings with different financial situations and different interest in lake. Some lived nearby and used a lot, others moved away and did not use much if at all. I have become friendly with the ones who treasured it and they are regular renters. I give them a good rate and I enjoy having them back as I know how much they treasure it. Neighbors house was same situation going back 60 years and it just sold. Hopefully I will be long gone when it comes to that for my place so I won't have to see it go.

This is interesting as this is the scenario that would be great for us if my folks sell the house - we'd love to be able to rent the place moving forward - may I ask if you set up a deal in the contract when you bought the place off them that ensured they'd be able to stay each year as renters? And is it ever annoying for you when you want to go up to your house and can't because they are there (not sure if you rent it out to others as well)? And also if you don't mind me asking - how much of a discount do you give them? Thank you

[FlyingScot]

Originally Posted by castlebreakfast

This is interesting as this is the scenario that would be great for us if my folks sell the house - we'd love to be able to rent the place moving forward - may I ask if you set up a deal in the contract when you bought the place off them that ensured they'd be able to stay each year as renters? And is it ever annoying for you when you want to go up to your house and can't because they are there (not sure if you rent it out to others as well)? And also if you don't mind me asking - how much of a discount do you give them? Thank you

Now switching my view to 8gv's. You start with this and are injecting new complexity in the sale and your relationships. Some siblings will want to sell to whomever offers an acceptable price first. Many buyers have zero interest in renting. Keep in mind that the buyer is dropping a large chunk of change on an indulgence. Chances are excellent that he does not need/want renters.

[garysanfran]

I know there are taxes, maintenance, utilities, etc. in owning. But owning also gives you some upside potential in appreciation. Today, real estate in this area is probably the highest it's been...Maybe even prior to 2008 values. Look what's happened in the last three years.

The money to purchase is not GONE. It's just changed form.

I bought my family's home from my 4 siblings. We owned it for over 60 years and encountered all the sibling issues describe herein.

My permanent home is in San Francisco, 3,200 miles away making logistics for visiting complicated. I have used Bayside Rentals to rent it for part of the summer ...Pretty much pays for all of my expenses and I get to spend spring and fall there and close it for the winter. Never had one problem caused by the renters.

You can also factor in the paper loss of depreciation into whatever your income tax situation is. And almost everything you buy is tax deductible as an expense for operations.

Although you're limited to two weeks for personal use, there is no limit for maintenance stays.

[Sue Doe-Nym]

Originally Posted by garysanfran

I know there are taxes, maintenance, utilities, etc. in owning. But owning also gives you some upside potential in appreciation. Today, real estate in this area is probably the highest it's been...Maybe even prior to 2008 values. Look what's happened in the last three years.

The money to purchase is not GONE. It's just changed form.

I bought my family's home from my 4 siblings. We owned it for over 60 years and encountered all the sibling issues describe herein.

My permanent home is in San Francisco, 3,200 miles away making logistics for visiting complicated. I have used Bayside Rentals to rent it for part of the summer ...Pretty much pays for all of my expenses and I get to spend spring and fall there and close it for the winter. Never had one problem caused by the renters.

You can also factor in the paper loss of depreciation into whatever your income tax situation is. And almost everything you buy is tax deductible as an expense for operations.

Although you're limited to two weeks for personal use, there is no limit for maintenance stays.

Thanks for this post....it should be helpful to those pondering holding on to a property vs. selling. I would like to add a comment to castle breakfast, however....it’s probably a bad idea to clutter up a sales contract with language ensuring future rental rights. Most buyers are likely to reject such restrictions on their own usage.

[jbolty]

I heard a situation like this one one of the call in radio shows, dave ramsey maybe. anyway, the siblings could not all agree to anything so they formed some sort of trust to own the place and hired a management company to rent it and the siblings had to go thru the agency to book time and paid rent like everyone else. the rental income was split between all of them. seemed like a pretty good hands off approach.

2 cents

[LIforrelaxin]

This is an hard issue to deal with, mostly because it is more based in emotion in most cases. When my parents bought our camp, I knew the long term prognosis was that eventually, I will have to buy my siblings out to maintain the property.
So with that I had to also come to realization, that until such time as I can by my siblings out, I may have to pay more the costs for maintaining the place.

I have made peace with those realizations. Because I know that if we sell the property on Lake Winnipesaukee, I will never buy on the lake again. Not necessarily because I wouldn't be able to financially afford to.... But because the lake has changed so much, that I would want to move on to a new lake, that had the atmosphere Winnipesaukee used to have.

Don't get me wrong Winnipesaukee is a beautiful lake and always will be... But it has become over grown, with huge houses, and manicured lawns... This is simply not my idea of getting away from it all. My yard is sand, my camp is small, and I have trees that I don't take down unless I have too.... I can find plenty of lakes where I am not the only one that thinks like that.

So why am I rambling like this, well its a message, If you keep the camp understand why you are doing and what the costs might be... I know what my costs are to keep my families current camp, and am at piece with it... If my siblings and I ever decide to sell, I have rationalized through that situation as well.

Will I be disappointed if eventually we need to sell yes, but on the flipside, I also know what plan B is, and that is just as exciting finding a new lake to get to know....

[Bigstan]

Sell now. Who knows when the market in M-Boro will be like this ever again. What was 700k years ago is probably double in todays market. Look at what's selling there for > 1m, it's nuts.

$ aside - 3 siblings should NEVER share ownership of a high dollar value asset.
Even if protected in a trust (which it would have to be unless you're insane) you will end up in a bad situation. It ends that way far more often than that (just read the responses above).

Noone wants to give up the childhood home, but strange how much more it suddenly means when you know if might be sold.....

[LIforrelaxin]

Originally Posted by castlebreakfast

This is interesting as this is the scenario that would be great for us if my folks sell the house - we'd love to be able to rent the place moving forward - may I ask if you set up a deal in the contract when you bought the place off them that ensured they'd be able to stay each year as renters? And is it ever annoying for you when you want to go up to your house and can't because they are there (not sure if you rent it out to others as well)? And also if you don't mind me asking - how much of a discount do you give them? Thank you

You would be very hard pressed to get a new owner to agree to a long term rental clause in the sale agreement. When my parents bought our property, we had a handshake agreement with them that, we would rent to them if we rented the property but nothing was documented. And we followed through with that promise after we spent time renovating the property. The finding was interesting. Although they where all excited to come back, when they did they found that it wasn't the same. It was no longer their family camp, it was ours. We made changes, and did renovations and it changed the place. They where all very grateful for the opportunity to come back, and wouldn't have changed the experience. They all decided, that the place was in good hands and moving on, to its next phase.... We haven't heard from any of them sense. Once in a while one of the Son's who already had a place on the lake, will ride by slowly in his boat.... but that is really all we ever see of the previous owners....

[songkrai]

Sell it.

If you like the Lakes Region. Purchase an ordinary house off lake or rent.

Time and time again. I see next generation not agreeing to time and usage. Then the next generation. And on and on.

There was a situation here where two adult daughters inherited a Summer cottage. One had one child. One had five children. Could not agree on maintenance,, taxes, usage, time, etc.

One did not wish to sell and just leave as is. And split the time.

One sister sued the other sister to sell the property. And then that sister bought the property. So much for family unity.

Sit down and agree who gets what.

Next generation ownership rarely works out.

Again, if you wish to stay in the Lakes Region. Just purchase a modest home off lake.

[winterh]

Originally Posted by castlebreakfast

This is interesting as this is the scenario that would be great for us if my folks sell the house - we'd love to be able to rent the place moving forward - may I ask if you set up a deal in the contract when you bought the place off them that ensured they'd be able to stay each year as renters? And is it ever annoying for you when you want to go up to your house and can't because they are there (not sure if you rent it out to others as well)? And also if you don't mind me asking - how much of a discount do you give them? Thank you

There was no agreement and I would probably not want one. The people I bought from were very nice and it just kind of happened naturally as we met and talked about the property and how it was in the family for years. I use the house plenty so do not mind giving up a week or so here and there. They don't come that often but in my situation I would not mind if they did. Everyones situation is different though. At first I gave them a big break on price but they now insist on paying at least close to market rates. When I do rent I am always happy to take less from someone I know will be a good tenant. At least in my case everyone is happy.

[Descant]

Must be different o the islands. Lots of 4, 5, 6 generations owners. Somehow, we all make it work. For many, it's the one place, after all the others have been sold, that we can all share (multiple) lifetimes of memories and make new ones.

[Juiced06GTO]

I am living this type of situation now on our family cottage on Upper Suncook Lake. My grandparents purchased and built the cabin back in 1964. They set up a trust and an investment account to help with taxes (which are now extremely high). The trust was set up with their three kids named as the stakeholders, then their kids (7 of us my siblings and cousins) next in line. To dissolve the trust everyone has to agree on what happens.

Unfortunately, all of what people have said about usage, up keep, family feuds is true, contributions towards the investment account, etc. My father passed away early at 53 from cancer which further complicated ownership in the place because now myself and my two siblings are the stakeholders along with my aunt and uncle and everyone wants their own time there. Trying to schedule time to be there is a pain as everyone who is still around and wants to use it wants prime weeks during the summer and the place is not really big enough to accommodate everyone at once. I have tried setting up calendars for us to all schedule a week in on our own over the summer and things like that, but it really hasn't worked.

Financially I couldn't care less about making anything off the place, my three boys really enjoying going there when we can which is what kills me about potentially walking away from it all. The securing time and dealing with everyone involved has made trying to go there stressful, which it shouldn't be.

At the end of the day I have really just tried to put all the BS aside and get up to enjoy the place with my kids when we can. When the money runs out in the fund to help with taxes and maintenance I am not really sure who in the family is left that can afford it (taxes alone are 13k/year) aside from maybe me and one of my cousins who lives local, but doesn't ever utilize the place. I'd imagine at that point it will end up being sold and everyone will get their share of the money and go on their way. At that point I hope to have my own place for use with my family and friends. The whole situation really stinks because my grandparents wanted the place to be enjoyed by many generations down the line and did their best to try and make that happen, but with so many people at so many different places in their lives it is difficult.

[tis]

Yes, I think I wouldn't rush. Why can't you take your time? Spend a year or two using it together and see how it works. If it doesn't you can always sell it later.

[castlebreakfast]

Thank you - we were thinking some benefits of cash inheritance over asset are that we're not sure how often we'd be using this house if they move away and if it would be worth it to deal with renting and upkeep and all that if we're only going to be here 6 weeks out of the year

Also cash/$$ inheritance would help us pay for kids' education - our own housing situations away from the lake - and so on - benefits we would not receive if the house isn't sold

[Biggd]

I know it's difficult for some to control but never make important decisions based on your emotions, esp large financial ones.

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[thinkxingu]

I've learned that once something beautiful is gone, it's gone... That doesn't mean you shouldn't sell, but it sounds like a lot more thought and planning needs to happen before doing so.

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[TheTimeTraveler]

Originally Posted by castlebreakfast

I grew up in a house on the north side of the lake (moultonboro) that remains very dear to me. My two brothers and I have long since grown up and moved out but we still visit to enjoy the lake, the surrounding area of mountains and beauty, and so on. We didn't have any other houses - we lived in it year round and my parents continue to do so (which made us the rare year-rounders in our neighborhood of summer homes).

Now my parents are getting older and my father is thinking of selling the house and downsizing to a smaller dwelling closer to a city where he and my mom can live. His reasons for doing so include: downsizing as mentioned, the tough cold winters in NH, his desire to be closer to Boston to take advantage of the cultural and other opportunities of the city. But Most importantly, he wants his 3 children and wife to get the substantial inheritance such a sale would offer - he spent something like 20+ years paying off the mortgage and the last time the house/property was appraised (years ago now) its value was around $700,000, so now it's probably (we hope) substantially more. It's his biggest asset by far and I am not positive how much the inheritance would be if the house is not sold. It's a 2 story on about 2 acres.

However, we can't get rid of the nagging feeling that despite the benefits that would accrue to us, we could be missing out on a treasure if we "lose" this house by selling it. This is our favorite place in the world (not the house structure itself necessarily - just its precise location on the lake (it's a lake + mountain view facing due west) and the access to the surrounding area). I like the idea of having it as a place our families can enjoy whenever we want in the years to come - but we also understand the value of an inheritance like this and the needs of my father and mother who have different considerations from mine and who after all still live in the house year round (I am only there perhaps 6 weeks out of the year now). The winters do get tough as mentioned, and the house structure and dock have not been renovated in many years - it's in fairly poor shape actually and the new owners will have to do a lot of renovation work, though it's still livable as is. One thing to note is that we don't actually use a boat anymore ever since my father sold his so we're not as avid users of the lake itself as we used to be. Water depth is decent but water quality is 'mucky' and not great. The view faces due west and you get fantastic sunsets over a mountain.

We're just worried that if the house is sold, we'll regret it and will feel grief over losing the gem we could have kept.

One option - the neighbor's house has been in his family for a few generations now (so they at least chose to go the route of keeping the house rather than selling it) – and they rent it out - so perhaps my brothers and I could rent that house for a week or two at a time each year if our house gets sold? Though of course we wouldn't have that nice feeling of permanence (how long will the neighbors be renting out their place for after all?) and *ownership* that you get from being able to call your house your own.

Any thoughts or advice from this community would be very much appreciated! I understand that this may not be the right place for such a post – and ultimately it's a personal decision on our part – but I figured I'd reach out to other Winnipesaukee people to get their takes - thanks for reading.

I know this is a very emotional issue for all involved, but before spinning your wheels too much then why not sit down first with a financial advisor to show the cause/effects on each person involved if the premises were kept versus if it is was sold?

Looking at it from this perspective could be a slam dunk for keeping it within the family versus selling it (or vice versa).

Just a thought.......