a little love from a forum bartender

twoplustwo · 08-23-2009, 10:00 AM

ok, maybe not love

Last night, as I was bartending at a happening and fairly new spot in Wolfeboro, I had a party of 4 sit at the bar while waiting for their table. Said party had 2 older folks and 2 younger folks. As one of the two younger folks looked fairly young, I carded both of the younger folks. The old man seemed a bit annoyed, and told me they were both 27 years old. As I explained to the old man, I absolutely believe that they are both 27 years old, but I also absolutely believe that he wouldn't come to court with me and pay my fine should I serve them without proper identification. They both were 27, everyone got their drinks, life went on.

This happens to bartenders all the time around here. Dad and mom take the college/grad student/older kids out for dinner and they get appropriately carded. Dad and/or mom get pissy that we card them. Your status as an AARP member does not correct a lack of proper identification from someone in your party. Period. Don't ask me to serve them because you say so, don't roll your eyeballs at me, and don't cop an attitude with me when I'm doing my job. That fine can be upwards of a thousand bucks, I'm stuck with a criminal record for a year (at a minimum) until I pay another $150 to get my record expunged, and I'm certainly not going to take that kind of a chance on someone I've never seen before in my life. Not unless you plan on paying my mortgage.

The standard rule now is to card anyone who looks 35 or under. Get used to it, it's not going away.

ITD · 08-23-2009, 10:23 AM

Hmmm, you sound grumpy to me, are you sure you're in the right profession? You're dealing with the public, people can suck, you must know that. As one who is fast approaching having a college graduate (4 years) I resent you calling me an old man. It's disrespectful (even though I guess it's true) and I'm thinking that a little attitude is coming across when you ask for the ID so your getting a little attitude back. JMHO.

Other than that, I certainly see your point about carding and your reasons for doing so.

twoplustwo · 08-23-2009, 10:32 AM

I'm not grumpy until someone tries to take advantage of me and the law. Other than that, I've been bartending for years and have a following I can call my own who think I'm pretty entertaining, so yeah, I think I'm in the right place.

By "old man" I meant he was the father. And since I'm 45 and have one who will be in college fairly soon, this ain't a whippersnapper issue.

Whenever I ask for ID, I am always quick to point out that our new liquor commissioner has had quite a presence around the lake and we have no choice but to be up on the rules. No tude there.

Love,
the old lady

ITD · 08-23-2009, 11:29 AM

Ok, maybe I'm the grumpy one. Anyway, I wish someone would card me, (ain't gonna happen unless it's a mercy card

).

twoplustwo · 08-23-2009, 11:34 AM

...come on in!

FWIW, I felt wonderful when I was carded during Bike Week a few years ago at the grocery store, and when I thanked the young man at the register, he said "Don't thank me, they told me to card EVERYONE, and that means you, too." So much for my sudden burst of youth!!

Happy Gourmand · 08-23-2009, 12:16 PM

I was at a Fisher Cats game in Manchester last year as my wife's nephew was playing for the opposing team. I decided that a nice cold brewski would be really nice so I went up to the concession stand. A very cute young girl asked to see my ID ( I am 64 ). I pulled out my wallet and showed it to her....certain that she was flirting with me.

She then told me that I had to take it out of my wallet so she could see both sides. At that point, I cancelled my beer order and ordered 2 Diet Cokes.
I can certainly appreciate the responsibility that bartenders have determining or trying to determine somebody's age, especially if they are about 30 or under. But in my case, I think the "rule" can be a little rediculous and totally unnecessary.
Did I say that she was real cute?

Kamper · 08-23-2009, 01:40 PM

One evening, many years ago, two female co-workers (both about 25) and I went out to dinner at a club in Miami. I was first and wasn't carded, the first women was carded and for whatever reason the greeter apeared like he was going to pass on the 3rd member of our party.

She just stood there and gave him a LOOK. It took him a second to feel it and he said "... and I'll need your ID to, miss." After we got in she expressed that if he thought #1 might be of questionable age he'd better double check the next because she wasn't going to have people imply that she looked old!

The moral of the story is that there is more than one reason to card people!

Coolbreeze · 08-23-2009, 01:54 PM

Man... just show the cards and get on with your meal or drink.
Some people feel inconvenienced with the slightest things. The employee asking for the Id is just doing part of their job; the risks of not checking ages regardless of gray hair or not is too much for most of these hard working people to afford.
If they have a poor attitiude, just think how you would be after dealing with sour customers creating a big deal about about showing Id's all day.
I would bet most of you complaining show your "sour feelings" by tipping poorly, even with good service.
To avoid this again or if you don't like it that much, buy your beverages at the state store or market (probably get carded there too!)and stay at home.
the rest of us will show our Ids as requested.

wifi · 08-23-2009, 02:28 PM

You have to give your name, address, birthdate, national ID number (aka SSN, if its on the license) and other personally identifiable information and yet many of the cashiers are (I know for a fact) under 21. How is this fair?

Can I ask for their ID?... (as in the cute bartendress

)

chipj29 · 08-23-2009, 03:41 PM

I am 43, and I get carded at least a few times a year. I smile and break out the ID, and am sure to thank the person asking for my ID. I like to joke that I have been drinking legally for more than half my life.

WinnDixie · 08-23-2009, 06:56 PM

Next time I'm up I'll have to find you, twoplustwo...I'd have to throw a champagne party if I got carded!! Don't worry, I'm so old everyone in my group would be able to be successfully carded and drink the champagne!! Some time ago now--lamentably--I noticed I immediately got the Senior Discount on everything...everywhere...with never a question to me! Of course, I can see why...but...darn!

In all seriousness, it is too bad people question the bartender and give him/her a hard time. Twoplustwo explains the law and the consequences very well, but--also--wouldn't a thinking parent be grateful for obstacles placed in the way of an underage drinker? This, to me, goes to the heart of the matter. I'm not so naive I don't know there's plenty of underage drinking...but I applaud all the efforts to control it where possible. You go, twoplustwo!!

BroadHopper · 08-23-2009, 07:33 PM

During Bike Week, I got carded at the tent. I chuckled at the bouncer and commented on my 'whitewalls' (gray sideburns). A man in his mid 40's came out of the crowd and claim he was an inspector. He does not tolerate people that 'mouthed' off to bouncers and bartenders. He told me I can be 100 years old. I can not enter an establishment that serve alcohol without a proper id. I was just commenting in my side burns!

I was told by LEOs, some of the liquor inspectors can be pretty rude to patrons. Not just drunk ones. Makes the servers pretty edgy.

RI Swamp Yankee · 08-23-2009, 07:36 PM

twoplustwo, you did the right thing. If someone is going to get upset it is their problem not yours for doing what is right. They should be thanking you for being a responsible person.

Rattlesnake Guy · 08-23-2009, 07:38 PM

Twoplustwo.
Thank you for carding. The next under age drinker could be my kid.
Thank you in advance.

Meredith lady · 08-23-2009, 09:22 PM

Carding is not an option-it is valid and law abiding. I have been in the restaurant/bartender business longer than I care to admit. If you do not ask for ID, and the liquor inspector comes in and asks the same patron, you are in big trouble. Anyone legal to buy alcohol HAS to be able to prove their age. My kids are 19 and 21-one is legal, one is not. In a restaurant I would never allow the underage one to even THINK about ordering a alcoholic beverage. A beer on our deck is one thing...in a public place it is absurd. And as for those out there carding...if the patron is of age, they are grateful to be asked. If they aren't of age, hopefully they are embarrassed...

trfour · 08-23-2009, 10:08 PM

and still do here in Texas. A friend of mine was all gray before graduating from EB High School and still under 18 years old.
I'm legally 65 these days, and my secret is.... Not that many gray hairs, and I absolutely refuse to grow up!

hazmatmedic · 08-24-2009, 07:03 AM

I was a bartender for many years and the Public is difficult. 2+2 was just venting like I used to do in the walk-in cooler. Scream your head off and walk back behind the bar with a BIG smile. It sounds to me, that he's in the right business. It just gets to you sometimes. And in Texas, underage "kids" can drink if the beverage is served to the parent and the parent gives it to their child.
When I was in Switzerland many years ago, I walked into a bar and ordered a beer when I was 15. That same day I went into a video arcade and was shown a sign. It said 18 years or older only. I could slam down some tequila shots but I wasn't allowed to play Pac-Man?

upthesaukee · 08-24-2009, 07:18 AM

Back in the 80's, we took a "booze cruise" in Boston. As we were going through the gate, wife and I were asked for ID. I swelled up my chest, held my graying head a little higher, and quickly pulled my ID out of my wallet, showing great manual dexterity for someone of my age, who someone thought was much younger. The deflation of ego came in two very short, closely spaced moments. My wife told me to look behind me and there was an extremely elderly man (in comparison to me) in a wheel chair being carded, and then she pointed out the huge sign that said picture ID's were required of all passengers, regardless of age.

I went to the Fishercat's game on Thursday evening, and prior to the start of the game, I got my one and only beer for the night. And in accordance with the sign at every register that I have been to in the stadium, I had my license out for viewing. They do required ID of anyone being served alcoholic beverages. Not an issue for me.

And to that end, knowing several friends who either own resturants that serve alcohol, or who are servers or bartenders, or own stores who sell alcohol, I would have no problem with any of them requiring ID to be served. I know the pressure that is brought upon them re: proper ID, over-serving, serving already intoxicated people, etc.. If it makes their job easier, do it...I'll still take it as a compliment!

ITD · 08-24-2009, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hazmatmedic

.... It sounds to me, that he's in the right business. ..........

She's a lady.... I think next time I'm at the lake I'll go for my mercy carding, I just hope the beer is good and cold.

dpg · 08-24-2009, 11:05 AM

Take a cruise to Mexico, even today a 17 year old can buy anything from drinks to Cuban Cigars.....Just ask my kids......

patman · 08-24-2009, 01:34 PM

twoplustwo- stiff upper lip, keep on cardin', you're doing the right thing.

I got carded in Hunter's IGA a couple of years ago. The three transactions in front of me each included a sixpack. Hello, may I see your ID? Hello, may I see your ID? Hello, may I see your ID?

When it was my turn, I got the same "Hello, may I see your ID?"

I said "Sure, but I'm just buying this soda..."

Frdxplorer · 08-24-2009, 03:25 PM

I have no problem with getting carded, but a few years back I was carded by the older bartender at Redhook in Portsmouth. I politely handed him my PA id expecting him to check it out, hand it back and get me my beer. Instead, he scoured over it and studied it for a good five minutes against the out of state ID book...still no problem The problem came when he decided that because some of the holograms had faded, it was probably a fake ID. Rather rudely he told me he wouldn't accept it. I tried to explain that, if he took notice of the issuance date, the id was several years old, and showing its age. He wasn't buying it. I then began producing all sorts of credit cards and other cards with my names on them. Finally, after a good 7 or 8 minutes of arguing, he agreed to accept my NH boater's license after I pointed out that all information was exactly the same on my out of state driver's license and my NH boater's license. The guy next to me agreed that, although they have to be careful, he probably could have served me the beer with a little less grief, and a lot less rudeness.

Another interesting situation last year at 19 mile bay. I was out with about 7 or 8 friends on the boat (USCG max is 10 persons). One of my friends decided he wanted to buy a six pack for the group. When he went to purchase, every one in our group was asked to produce ID. Out of the whole bunch, only one person did not have ID. Everyone else produced valid IDs showing the youngest in the crowd to be 27. No luck... because one of us didn't have the ID, they wouldn't serve us. The friend trying to purchase the six pack explained that he was federal law enforcement, produced a badge and ID, and explained that he was not attempting to buy some extraordinary amount of beer (a six pack for 8 people). Still no luck... we left empty handed.

In my honest opinion, the NH liquor control board is a bit extreme in their regulations. I would argue that some level of common sense is appropriate in these situations.

PennyPenny · 08-24-2009, 06:49 PM

The law states that the person selling the beverage has the right to refuse, period. It is their responsibilty in the long run. Carding everyone that appears to be in the same group at a checkout is even wiser. All it takes is one irresponsible person and bad things can happen to good people. I remember the days when we could stand in the parking lot of a store and ask someone going in if they would "buy for us". Hardly ever got a no.

Rattlesnake Guy · 08-24-2009, 07:06 PM

When my wife recently went to the State Liqueur store, she was surprised to see that my son and his girl friend were carded even though they were not buying anything. That seemed a bit over the top to me for a rest area liqueur store.

SAMIAM · 08-24-2009, 08:16 PM

Oh,man......don't get me started on this subject.The state liquor commision,along with local departments,brings in 19 and 20 year old 'police cadets"that look about 40 to conduct sting operations .Careful screened in the art of entrapping busy bartenders or waitress',they always arrive in the middle of a rush.When they find a victim...they gleefully charge into the restaurant and totally disrupt the place as they arrest the entrapped server,call the manager out of the kitchen and generally bring the business to a standstill.I know,because we got bagged.They terrified a hardworking local teacher who works three jobs to support her family.Disgusting Gestapo tactics.I totally support our law enforcement people as well as all of the liquor laws,but these stings are nothing more than entertainment for bored cops.

Bigstan · 08-24-2009, 10:11 PM

Just a funny story -

Went to the new(er) Liquor store in Gilford (next to Patricks) at the beginning of the summer. 4 of us, two married couples - all in our mid 30's. Myself and my wife checked out, sister and husband checked out on the counter opposite us. Sister asked me from 4 feet away - get us a couple of lottery tickets please, we don't have any cash?

Woman behind the register....narrows her eyes, waits for the couple ahead of my sister to finish and leave, and not quite yells (though does not say quietly) to the man manning the other register - hold them until I check out these two! (Yes, exclamation)

Sister and husband are carded, as am I and the wife. None of us are allowed to buy anything, although I was already rung up and had my cc put thru the machine. She takes our MA ID's, walks them over to the opposite register and compares them with the other IDs the man has taken from my sister and husband. The many other people in line are snickering, as are myself, the wife, and (a little bit) the poor guy manning the other register. She comes back and asks me to sign the CC receipt (and compares it to the license signature). I ask if she would like us to line up against the wall whike she finishes, and she says that 'she takes her job seriously', we shouldn't make fun.

For almost 20 years MA has had scanners that can scan/take pictures my ID. Either buy them or leave me be

There is nothing wrong with dedication to the rules, but there is a laughable aspect as well when you consider the opposite extreme.

dpg · 08-25-2009, 06:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SAMIAM

Oh,man......don't get me started on this subject.The state liquor commision,along with local departments,brings in 19 and 20 year old 'police cadets"that look about 40 to conduct sting operations .Careful screened in the art of entrapping busy bartenders or waitress',they always arrive in the middle of a rush.When they find a victim...they gleefully charge into the restaurant and totally disrupt the place as they arrest the entrapped server,call the manager out of the kitchen and generally bring the business to a standstill.I know,because we got bagged.They terrified a hardworking local teacher who works three jobs to support her family.Disgusting Gestapo tactics.I totally support our law enforcement people as well as all of the liquor laws,but these stings are nothing more than entertainment for bored cops.

I have a nephew that used to do the same thing for the police down here in Mass only he was sent trying to buy a pack of smokes. He was a 6 foot 17 year old.

twoplustwo · 08-25-2009, 10:38 AM

...when they set up sting operations. Their subjects have to be average height and weight, no facial hair, no hats, and are supposed to appear so that a 'reasonable' person would card them. The M'Boro PD, when running their own stings without the liquor commission, has no requirement to adhere to these standards, and have gone out of their way not to adhere to them on occasion, IMO.

I don't mind the state testing us. I do mind the PD tricking us. The difference is enormous.

I hope our new chief comes from out of town. WAY out of town. And I hope they appreciate the enormous PD we have for a town this size, and try to use it more positively than hassling local businesses, referring to African American MA students in derogatory terms, or pulling over school busses in the middle of the winter, complete with lights and sirens, because 6th grade boys acting like 6th grade boys made some rude hand signals to the officer's wife out the back window of the bus. Some of our officers have displayed some ridiculous, unprofessional, and often egomaniacal behavior on our dime. It needs to stop. As cop jobs go, this one is cake. Someone needs to remind every one of them of that fact. My buddy is NYPD Precinct One, I think he could tell them what he went through on 9/11 and offer a little perspective they could certainly use.

sa meredith · 08-25-2009, 10:59 AM

In my hometown, there are many bars/restaurants on "the strip". Maybe 12/15 in all.
They have a pretty good system set up to notify each other by phone as soon as one bar/bartender suspects something.
I've seen it work quite well.

BroadHopper · 08-25-2009, 11:09 AM

Like Boston, NYC etc. They still pay cops to tip them off.

One of my neighbor's makes big bucks doing this and has a place on the lake and a big toy on the lake. One day, he is going to get caught..........

angela4design · 08-25-2009, 03:40 PM

If you get carded (even if it really is just a flirtatious gesture), and you cannot provide ID, they CANNOT serve you. I've had that blow up in my face a couple of times, as a server in the past.

And, yes, at the State Liquor Stores, your entire party can be carded. And, same goes in that instance. If ALL MEMBERS OF YOUR PARTY cannot provide ID, they cannot sell to you.

Some servers can be over the top, I agree. But, you know, the fines are big, and it's not worth it to the server/seller to take it easy on us. I'm always flattered to provide ID, and I always do have it with me! They want you buy drinks, too ~ that's how they get paid. Legally, that's all.

Argie's Wife · 08-25-2009, 03:55 PM

When a liquor store clerk or bartender card you they aren't just making sure you have ID or that you're of age but they are protecting themselves from legal ramifications if you should crash up your car later that night because you didn't show self-control or their business from being fined, like SAMIAM's was fined, or other negative legal outcomes.

I used to bartend at a service bar and more than once watched an older guy or gal come up and order a couple of drinks to take back to the table only to observe one of the drinks going to someone who I KNEW was under 21 years old. At that point, it is my responsibility to blow the whistle on that offense.

Personally (and I'm probably going to take a hit for this but... oh well...) , I'd like to see the age come down to 18 years old and a big increase on the fines. If you're old enough to die for your country, then you should be old enough to have a drink.

wifi · 08-25-2009, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twoplustwo

.....I don't mind the state testing us. I do mind the PD tricking us. The difference is enormous.

I hope our new chief comes from out of town. WAY out of town. And I hope they appreciate the enormous PD we have for a town this size, and try to use it more positively than hassling local businesses.....

I agree with what you are saying, but I disagree with your conclusion. 30 years ago, each officer came from M'boro or from a nearby town. They knew every family in town and everyone knew them, personally. If something happened in town, they knew who did it, from knowing people. Todays MPD consists of two 'townies' and the rest are from out of the area, most from distant states. They think of people as entities to give tickets to, they have no idea of who lives where or anything personal or anything about the families in town.

Years ago, when I was called out to the xyz residence, I knew the family, its problems (if any), where they lived, the layout of the road, I didn't need any address.... Today, without having your precious 911 address or coordinates from your cell phone, none of them can find you. Case in point, I called for a tree down on Red Hill Rd a few years back, where the pavement turns to dirt. They dispatched an officer who was not a local, and couldn't find it... demanded a 911 address... come on, they are supposed to be driving around the town all day long (the tree was across the road). Wait, the pavement to dirt doesn't show up on radar!!! (J/K... LOL).

I'm NOT anti police, quite the opposite, I'm just rather passionate on how much this town has deteriorated from what it once was and how much better it could be. Thanks for reading to the end

tis · 08-25-2009, 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wifi

I agree with what you are saying, but I disagree with your conclusion. 30 years ago, each officer came from M'boro or from a nearby town. They knew every family in town and everyone knew them, personally. If something happened in town, they knew who did it, from knowing people. Todays MPD consists of two 'townies' and the rest are from out of the area, most from distant states. They think of people as entities to give tickets to, they have no idea of who lives where or anything personal or anything about the families in town.

Years ago, when I was called out to the xyz residence, I knew the family, its problems (if any), where they lived, the layout of the road, I didn't need any address.... Today, without having your precious 911 address or coordinates from your cell phone, none of them can find you. Case in point, I called for a tree down on Red Hill Rd a few years back, where the pavement turns to dirt. They dispatched an officer who was not a local, and couldn't find it... demanded a 911 address... come on, they are supposed to be driving around the town all day long (the tree was across the road). Wait, the pavement to dirt doesn't show up on radar!!! (J/K... LOL).

I'm NOT anti police, quite the opposite, I'm just rather passionate on how much this town has deteriorated from what it once was and how much better it could be. Thanks for reading to the end

It is very true, when people know each other things are worked out much better. Ah for the old days.

twoplustwo · 08-25-2009, 07:42 PM

Todays MPD consists of two 'townies' and the rest are from out of the area, most from distant states. They think of people as entities to give tickets to, they have no idea of who lives where or anything personal or anything about the families in town.

One of the 'townies' is responsible for some of that outrageous behavior pointed out earlier. He might be able to find a tree down without a 911 address, but he'd also bully the tree, blame the tree, use profanity to the tree, and remind the tree just who's running this town. Poor tree.

Orion · 08-26-2009, 07:56 AM

I'm sure the carding requirement is more hated by the bartenders than it is by the patrons. Just comply with a smile and shut up. You'll get your drink.

My neice worked for a large national restaurant change up until this week. She had been there for 4 years and they have a routine undercover verification operation that they operate to ensure their employees are carding EVERYONE UNDER 40. They sent in a 38 year old guy with some gray hair and she didn't card him. She was immediatly dismissed by the corporation after significant protest by the restaurant owner/manager to keep her as she was an excellent waitress. Sad.

SAMIAM · 08-26-2009, 09:23 AM

I agree with ArgiesWive.....Drinking age should be 18 and fines should bumpedThere should be a huge fine for ATTEMPTING to buy alcohol if you are not of age.They have nothing to lose as it is....it's all on the server and the business.
I'm not sure about NH law......I know it is a crime for a minor to possess alcohol but not sure about "attempting" to buy.If that is,in fact, a crime then it would seem to me that the local PD's and Liiquor Commision are violating the law by sending a minor in to buy alcohol.

upthesaukee · 08-26-2009, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SAMIAM

I agree with ArgiesWive.....Drinking age should be 18 and fines should bumpedThere should be a huge fine for ATTEMPTING to buy alcohol if you are not of age.They have nothing to lose as it is....it's all on the server and the business.
I'm not sure about NH law......I know it is a crime for a minor to possess alcohol but not sure about "attempting" to buy.If that is,in fact, a crime then it would seem to me that the local PD's and Liiquor Commision are violating the law by sending a minor in to buy alcohol.

Samiam, I would disagree that the drinking age should be lowered, but not a subject I would debate on this forum.

I believe that you are correct: underage possession is a crime, but attempting to buy is not; and I agree that these young people have nothing to lose by trying to get served, with or without an ID. If the server or employee can get a hefty fine, so should the true underage buyer be subject to a hefty fine...can't pay it: then let them get the money from Mommy and Daddy. Can't do that: let them do 50 hours community service for the first offense, 75 for the second offense, and 100 for third plus a weekend in jail.

Place the blame where it should be placed, not just on the servers and employees at stores.

Jump down off soap box, wipe forehead, and get a beer.

I feel better now.

sa meredith · 08-26-2009, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Orion

I'm sure the carding requirement is more hated by the bartenders than it is by the patrons. Just comply with a smile and shut up. You'll get your drink.

My neice worked for a large national restaurant change up until this week. She had been there for 4 years and they have a routine undercover verification operation that they operate to ensure their employees are carding EVERYONE UNDER 40. They sent in a 38 year old guy with some gray hair and she didn't card him. She was immediatly dismissed by the corporation after significant protest by the restaurant owner/manager to keep her as she was an excellent waitress. Sad.

Sad, and probably illegal.

chipj29 · 08-27-2009, 06:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sa meredith

Sad, and probably illegal.

If it is the restaurant chains policy, and especially if it is a written rule in an employee handbook that the employee would have signed, then it is perfectly legal.
I do agree that it is sad, but that's how it goes when you break the rules.

luvmypups · 09-11-2009, 12:53 PM

They just dont get it. I've been the waitress set up in a sting before and I fortunately did my job, carded the kid and caught the set up. People dont understand that if you get busted, you most likely lose your job, you get fined, the restaurant loses their license and gets fined and you get arrested. That's pretty serious and embarrasing. If they dont like that I card them, oh well, get out and go somewhere else.

08-23-2009, 10:32 AM	#3
twoplustwo Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Moultonborough Posts: 456 Thanks: 51 Thanked 39 Times in 21 Posts	Lol I'm not grumpy until someone tries to take advantage of me and the law. Other than that, I've been bartending for years and have a following I can call my own who think I'm pretty entertaining, so yeah, I think I'm in the right place. By "old man" I meant he was the father. And since I'm 45 and have one who will be in college fairly soon, this ain't a whippersnapper issue. Whenever I ask for ID, I am always quick to point out that our new liquor commissioner has had quite a presence around the lake and we have no choice but to be up on the rules. No tude there. Love, the old lady

08-23-2009, 11:29 AM	#4
ITD Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Moultonboro, NH Posts: 2,860 Thanks: 461 Thanked 666 Times in 366 Posts	Ok, maybe I'm the grumpy one. Anyway, I wish someone would card me, (ain't gonna happen unless it's a mercy card).

08-23-2009, 11:34 AM	#5
twoplustwo Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Moultonborough Posts: 456 Thanks: 51 Thanked 39 Times in 21 Posts	I'll card you ...come on in! FWIW, I felt wonderful when I was carded during Bike Week a few years ago at the grocery store, and when I thanked the young man at the register, he said "Don't thank me, they told me to card EVERYONE, and that means you, too." So much for my sudden burst of youth!!

08-23-2009, 12:16 PM	#6
Happy Gourmand Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Ruskin FL Posts: 1,025 Thanks: 187 Thanked 322 Times in 179 Posts	Sometimes over the top I was at a Fisher Cats game in Manchester last year as my wife's nephew was playing for the opposing team. I decided that a nice cold brewski would be really nice so I went up to the concession stand. A very cute young girl asked to see my ID ( I am 64 ). I pulled out my wallet and showed it to her....certain that she was flirting with me. She then told me that I had to take it out of my wallet so she could see both sides. At that point, I cancelled my beer order and ordered 2 Diet Cokes. I can certainly appreciate the responsibility that bartenders have determining or trying to determine somebody's age, especially if they are about 30 or under. But in my case, I think the "rule" can be a little rediculous and totally unnecessary. Did I say that she was real cute?

08-23-2009, 02:28 PM	#9
wifi Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Lakes Region Posts: 1,321 Thanks: 282 Thanked 287 Times in 169 Posts	Its funny You have to give your name, address, birthdate, national ID number (aka SSN, if its on the license) and other personally identifiable information and yet many of the cashiers are (I know for a fact) under 21. How is this fair? Can I ask for their ID?... (as in the cute bartendress )

08-23-2009, 10:00 AM	#1
twoplustwo Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Moultonborough Posts: 456 Thanks: 51 Thanked 39 Times in 21 Posts	a little love from a forum bartender ok, maybe not love Last night, as I was bartending at a happening and fairly new spot in Wolfeboro, I had a party of 4 sit at the bar while waiting for their table. Said party had 2 older folks and 2 younger folks. As one of the two younger folks looked fairly young, I carded both of the younger folks. The old man seemed a bit annoyed, and told me they were both 27 years old. As I explained to the old man, I absolutely believe that they are both 27 years old, but I also absolutely believe that he wouldn't come to court with me and pay my fine should I serve them without proper identification. They both were 27, everyone got their drinks, life went on. This happens to bartenders all the time around here. Dad and mom take the college/grad student/older kids out for dinner and they get appropriately carded. Dad and/or mom get pissy that we card them. Your status as an AARP member does not correct a lack of proper identification from someone in your party. Period. Don't ask me to serve them because you say so, don't roll your eyeballs at me, and don't cop an attitude with me when I'm doing my job. That fine can be upwards of a thousand bucks, I'm stuck with a criminal record for a year (at a minimum) until I pay another $150 to get my record expunged, and I'm certainly not going to take that kind of a chance on someone I've never seen before in my life. Not unless you plan on paying my mortgage. The standard rule now is to card anyone who looks 35 or under. Get used to it, it's not going away.

08-23-2009, 10:23 AM	#2
ITD Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Moultonboro, NH Posts: 2,860 Thanks: 461 Thanked 666 Times in 366 Posts	Hmmm, you sound grumpy to me, are you sure you're in the right profession? You're dealing with the public, people can suck, you must know that. As one who is fast approaching having a college graduate (4 years) I resent you calling me an old man. It's disrespectful (even though I guess it's true) and I'm thinking that a little attitude is coming across when you ask for the ID so your getting a little attitude back. JMHO. Other than that, I certainly see your point about carding and your reasons for doing so.

08-23-2009, 01:40 PM	#7
Kamper Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Thornton's Ferry Posts: 1,296 Thanks: 67 Thanked 166 Times in 126 Posts	One evening, many years ago, two female co-workers (both about 25) and I went out to dinner at a club in Miami. I was first and wasn't carded, the first women was carded and for whatever reason the greeter apeared like he was going to pass on the 3rd member of our party. She just stood there and gave him a LOOK. It took him a second to feel it and he said "... and I'll need your ID to, miss." After we got in she expressed that if he thought #1 might be of questionable age he'd better double check the next because she wasn't going to have people imply that she looked old! The moral of the story is that there is more than one reason to card people!

08-23-2009, 01:54 PM	#8
Coolbreeze Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 332 Thanks: 0 Thanked 51 Times in 26 Posts	Man... just show the cards and get on with your meal or drink. Some people feel inconvenienced with the slightest things. The employee asking for the Id is just doing part of their job; the risks of not checking ages regardless of gray hair or not is too much for most of these hard working people to afford. If they have a poor attitiude, just think how you would be after dealing with sour customers creating a big deal about about showing Id's all day. I would bet most of you complaining show your "sour feelings" by tipping poorly, even with good service. To avoid this again or if you don't like it that much, buy your beverages at the state store or market (probably get carded there too!)and stay at home. the rest of us will show our Ids as requested.

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08-23-2009, 03:41 PM	#10
chipj29 Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Bow Posts: 1,874 Thanks: 521 Thanked 308 Times in 162 Posts	I am 43, and I get carded at least a few times a year. I smile and break out the ID, and am sure to thank the person asking for my ID. I like to joke that I have been drinking legally for more than half my life. __________________ Getting ready for winter!

08-23-2009, 06:56 PM	#11
WinnDixie Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Huntsville, AL Posts: 239 Thanks: 44 Thanked 75 Times in 17 Posts	That would be love! Next time I'm up I'll have to find you, twoplustwo...I'd have to throw a champagne party if I got carded!! Don't worry, I'm so old everyone in my group would be able to be successfully carded and drink the champagne!! Some time ago now--lamentably--I noticed I immediately got the Senior Discount on everything...everywhere...with never a question to me! Of course, I can see why...but...darn! In all seriousness, it is too bad people question the bartender and give him/her a hard time. Twoplustwo explains the law and the consequences very well, but--also--wouldn't a thinking parent be grateful for obstacles placed in the way of an underage drinker? This, to me, goes to the heart of the matter. I'm not so naive I don't know there's plenty of underage drinking...but I applaud all the efforts to control it where possible. You go, twoplustwo!!

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08-23-2009, 07:33 PM	#12
BroadHopper Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Laconia NH Posts: 5,512 Thanks: 3,118 Thanked 1,090 Times in 784 Posts	Liquor Inspectors During Bike Week, I got carded at the tent. I chuckled at the bouncer and commented on my 'whitewalls' (gray sideburns). A man in his mid 40's came out of the crowd and claim he was an inspector. He does not tolerate people that 'mouthed' off to bouncers and bartenders. He told me I can be 100 years old. I can not enter an establishment that serve alcohol without a proper id. I was just commenting in my side burns! I was told by LEOs, some of the liquor inspectors can be pretty rude to patrons. Not just drunk ones. Makes the servers pretty edgy. __________________ Someday may never be an actual day.

08-23-2009, 07:36 PM	#13
RI Swamp Yankee Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: North Kingstown RI Posts: 688 Thanks: 143 Thanked 83 Times in 55 Posts	twoplustwo, you did the right thing. If someone is going to get upset it is their problem not yours for doing what is right. They should be thanking you for being a responsible person. __________________ Gene ~ aka "another RI Swamp Yankee"

08-23-2009, 07:38 PM	#14
Rattlesnake Guy Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 1,254 Thanks: 423 Thanked 366 Times in 175 Posts	Twoplustwo. Thank you for carding. The next under age drinker could be my kid. Thank you in advance.

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08-23-2009, 09:22 PM	#15
Meredith lady Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 217 Thanks: 290 Thanked 138 Times in 26 Posts	carding Carding is not an option-it is valid and law abiding. I have been in the restaurant/bartender business longer than I care to admit. If you do not ask for ID, and the liquor inspector comes in and asks the same patron, you are in big trouble. Anyone legal to buy alcohol HAS to be able to prove their age. My kids are 19 and 21-one is legal, one is not. In a restaurant I would never allow the underage one to even THINK about ordering a alcoholic beverage. A beer on our deck is one thing...in a public place it is absurd. And as for those out there carding...if the patron is of age, they are grateful to be asked. If they aren't of age, hopefully they are embarrassed...

08-23-2009, 10:08 PM	#16
trfour Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Lakes, Central NH. and Dallas/Fort Worth TX. Posts: 3,694 Blog Entries: 3 Thanks: 3,069 Thanked 472 Times in 236 Posts	I Always Got Carded At The Lake.... and still do here in Texas. A friend of mine was all gray before graduating from EB High School and still under 18 years old. I'm legally 65 these days, and my secret is.... Not that many gray hairs, and I absolutely refuse to grow up! __________________ *trfour* Always Remember, The Best Safety Device In The Boat, or on a PWC Snowmobile etc., Is YOU! Safe sledding tips and much more; http://www.snowmobile.org/snowmobiling-safety.html

08-24-2009, 07:03 AM	#17
hazmatmedic Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 47 Thanks: 6 Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts	The Public I was a bartender for many years and the Public is difficult. 2+2 was just venting like I used to do in the walk-in cooler. Scream your head off and walk back behind the bar with a BIG smile. It sounds to me, that he's in the right business. It just gets to you sometimes. And in Texas, underage "kids" can drink if the beverage is served to the parent and the parent gives it to their child. When I was in Switzerland many years ago, I walked into a bar and ordered a beer when I was 15. That same day I went into a video arcade and was shown a sign. It said 18 years or older only. I could slam down some tequila shots but I wasn't allowed to play Pac-Man?

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08-24-2009, 07:18 AM	#18
upthesaukee Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Alton Bay Posts: 5,547 Blog Entries: 2 Thanks: 2,398 Thanked 1,918 Times in 1,061 Posts	Take it as a compliment Back in the 80's, we took a "booze cruise" in Boston. As we were going through the gate, wife and I were asked for ID. I swelled up my chest, held my graying head a little higher, and quickly pulled my ID out of my wallet, showing great manual dexterity for someone of my age, who someone thought was much younger. The deflation of ego came in two very short, closely spaced moments. My wife told me to look behind me and there was an extremely elderly man (in comparison to me) in a wheel chair being carded, and then she pointed out the huge sign that said picture ID's were required of all passengers, regardless of age. I went to the Fishercat's game on Thursday evening, and prior to the start of the game, I got my one and only beer for the night. And in accordance with the sign at every register that I have been to in the stadium, I had my license out for viewing. They do required ID of anyone being served alcoholic beverages. Not an issue for me. And to that end, knowing several friends who either own resturants that serve alcohol, or who are servers or bartenders, or own stores who sell alcohol, I would have no problem with any of them requiring ID to be served. I know the pressure that is brought upon them re: proper ID, over-serving, serving already intoxicated people, etc.. If it makes their job easier, do it...I'll still take it as a compliment! __________________ I Live Here... I am always UPTHESAUKEE !!!!

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08-24-2009, 11:05 AM	#20
dpg Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 2,560 Thanks: 149 Thanked 229 Times in 166 Posts	Take a cruise to Mexico, even today a 17 year old can buy anything from drinks to Cuban Cigars.....Just ask my kids......

08-24-2009, 01:34 PM	#21
patman Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: NH Posts: 374 Thanks: 56 Thanked 152 Times in 76 Posts	twoplustwo- stiff upper lip, keep on cardin', you're doing the right thing. I got carded in Hunter's IGA a couple of years ago. The three transactions in front of me each included a sixpack. Hello, may I see your ID? Hello, may I see your ID? Hello, may I see your ID? When it was my turn, I got the same "Hello, may I see your ID?" I said "Sure, but I'm just buying this soda..."

08-24-2009, 03:25 PM	#22
Frdxplorer Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: York, PA Posts: 234 Thanks: 2 Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts	I have no problem with getting carded, but a few years back I was carded by the older bartender at Redhook in Portsmouth. I politely handed him my PA id expecting him to check it out, hand it back and get me my beer. Instead, he scoured over it and studied it for a good five minutes against the out of state ID book...still no problem The problem came when he decided that because some of the holograms had faded, it was probably a fake ID. Rather rudely he told me he wouldn't accept it. I tried to explain that, if he took notice of the issuance date, the id was several years old, and showing its age. He wasn't buying it. I then began producing all sorts of credit cards and other cards with my names on them. Finally, after a good 7 or 8 minutes of arguing, he agreed to accept my NH boater's license after I pointed out that all information was exactly the same on my out of state driver's license and my NH boater's license. The guy next to me agreed that, although they have to be careful, he probably could have served me the beer with a little less grief, and a lot less rudeness. Another interesting situation last year at 19 mile bay. I was out with about 7 or 8 friends on the boat (USCG max is 10 persons). One of my friends decided he wanted to buy a six pack for the group. When he went to purchase, every one in our group was asked to produce ID. Out of the whole bunch, only one person did not have ID. Everyone else produced valid IDs showing the youngest in the crowd to be 27. No luck... because one of us didn't have the ID, they wouldn't serve us. The friend trying to purchase the six pack explained that he was federal law enforcement, produced a badge and ID, and explained that he was not attempting to buy some extraordinary amount of beer (a six pack for 8 people). Still no luck... we left empty handed. In my honest opinion, the NH liquor control board is a bit extreme in their regulations. I would argue that some level of common sense is appropriate in these situations.

08-24-2009, 06:49 PM	#23
PennyPenny Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 140 Thanks: 4 Thanked 8 Times in 5 Posts	"The right to refuse anyone" The law states that the person selling the beverage has the right to refuse, period. It is their responsibilty in the long run. Carding everyone that appears to be in the same group at a checkout is even wiser. All it takes is one irresponsible person and bad things can happen to good people. I remember the days when we could stand in the parking lot of a store and ask someone going in if they would "buy for us". Hardly ever got a no.

08-24-2009, 07:06 PM	#24
Rattlesnake Guy Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 1,254 Thanks: 423 Thanked 366 Times in 175 Posts	When my wife recently went to the State Liqueur store, she was surprised to see that my son and his girl friend were carded even though they were not buying anything. That seemed a bit over the top to me for a rest area liqueur store.

08-24-2009, 08:16 PM	#25
SAMIAM Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Moultonborough Posts: 2,836 Thanks: 326 Thanked 1,626 Times in 562 Posts	Oh,man......don't get me started on this subject.The state liquor commision,along with local departments,brings in 19 and 20 year old 'police cadets"that look about 40 to conduct sting operations .Careful screened in the art of entrapping busy bartenders or waitress',they always arrive in the middle of a rush.When they find a victim...they gleefully charge into the restaurant and totally disrupt the place as they arrest the entrapped server,call the manager out of the kitchen and generally bring the business to a standstill.I know,because we got bagged.They terrified a hardworking local teacher who works three jobs to support her family.Disgusting Gestapo tactics.I totally support our law enforcement people as well as all of the liquor laws,but these stings are nothing more than entertainment for bored cops.

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08-24-2009, 10:11 PM	#26
Bigstan Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Gilford NH Posts: 376 Thanks: 9 Thanked 163 Times in 91 Posts	Hilarious Just a funny story - Went to the new(er) Liquor store in Gilford (next to Patricks) at the beginning of the summer. 4 of us, two married couples - all in our mid 30's. Myself and my wife checked out, sister and husband checked out on the counter opposite us. Sister asked me from 4 feet away - get us a couple of lottery tickets please, we don't have any cash? Woman behind the register....narrows her eyes, waits for the couple ahead of my sister to finish and leave, and not quite yells (though does not say quietly) to the man manning the other register - hold them until I check out these two! (Yes, exclamation) Sister and husband are carded, as am I and the wife. None of us are allowed to buy anything, although I was already rung up and had my cc put thru the machine. She takes our MA ID's, walks them over to the opposite register and compares them with the other IDs the man has taken from my sister and husband. The many other people in line are snickering, as are myself, the wife, and (a little bit) the poor guy manning the other register. She comes back and asks me to sign the CC receipt (and compares it to the license signature). I ask if she would like us to line up against the wall whike she finishes, and she says that 'she takes her job seriously', we shouldn't make fun. For almost 20 years MA has had scanners that can scan/take pictures my ID. Either buy them or leave me be There is nothing wrong with dedication to the rules, but there is a laughable aspect as well when you consider the opposite extreme. Last edited by Bigstan; 08-25-2009 at 07:40 AM. Reason: grammar

08-25-2009, 10:38 AM	#28
twoplustwo Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Moultonborough Posts: 456 Thanks: 51 Thanked 39 Times in 21 Posts	at least the state has some rules and regs... ...when they set up sting operations. Their subjects have to be average height and weight, no facial hair, no hats, and are supposed to appear so that a 'reasonable' person would card them. The M'Boro PD, when running their own stings without the liquor commission, has no requirement to adhere to these standards, and have gone out of their way not to adhere to them on occasion, IMO. I don't mind the state testing us. I do mind the PD tricking us. The difference is enormous. I hope our new chief comes from out of town. WAY out of town. And I hope they appreciate the enormous PD we have for a town this size, and try to use it more positively than hassling local businesses, referring to African American MA students in derogatory terms, or pulling over school busses in the middle of the winter, complete with lights and sirens, because 6th grade boys acting like 6th grade boys made some rude hand signals to the officer's wife out the back window of the bus. Some of our officers have displayed some ridiculous, unprofessional, and often egomaniacal behavior on our dime. It needs to stop. As cop jobs go, this one is cake. Someone needs to remind every one of them of that fact. My buddy is NYPD Precinct One, I think he could tell them what he went through on 9/11 and offer a little perspective they could certainly use.

08-25-2009, 10:59 AM	#29
sa meredith Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 986 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 32 Thanked 352 Times in 137 Posts	sting In my hometown, there are many bars/restaurants on "the strip". Maybe 12/15 in all. They have a pretty good system set up to notify each other by phone as soon as one bar/bartender suspects something. I've seen it work quite well.

08-25-2009, 11:09 AM	#30
BroadHopper Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Laconia NH Posts: 5,512 Thanks: 3,118 Thanked 1,090 Times in 784 Posts	In the big cities Like Boston, NYC etc. They still pay cops to tip them off. One of my neighbor's makes big bucks doing this and has a place on the lake and a big toy on the lake. One day, he is going to get caught.......... __________________ Someday may never be an actual day.

08-25-2009, 03:40 PM	#31
angela4design Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Meredith Posts: 353 Thanks: 45 Thanked 54 Times in 38 Posts	Another thing... If you get carded (even if it really is just a flirtatious gesture), and you cannot provide ID, they CANNOT serve you. I've had that blow up in my face a couple of times, as a server in the past. And, yes, at the State Liquor Stores, your entire party can be carded. And, same goes in that instance. If ALL MEMBERS OF YOUR PARTY cannot provide ID, they cannot sell to you. Some servers can be over the top, I agree. But, you know, the fines are big, and it's not worth it to the server/seller to take it easy on us. I'm always flattered to provide ID, and I always do have it with me! They want you buy drinks, too ~ that's how they get paid. Legally, that's all.