Stimulus Checks

[TiltonBB]

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will likely receive a economic stimulus check from the government.

It is indeed a very exciting program and I’ll attempt to explain it by using a Q&A format:

Q: What is an Economic Stimulus?
A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q: Where will the government get this money that they are sending to the taxpayers?
A: From the taxpayers.

Q: Is the government simply giving me back my own money then?
A: No, only a smidgen of it.

Q: What is the purpose of this payment?
A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition tv
television set, a new iPad or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.

Q: Isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?
A: Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy with your stimulus check. Use it wisely.

* If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.

* If you purchase a computer, the money goes to India, Taiwan or China.

* If you purchase fruits and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras or
Guatemala.

* If you buy a fuel efficient car the money will go to Japan or Korea.

* If you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.

Instead, keep the money in America by”
(1) Spending it at a yard sale, or
(2) Going to a ballgame, or
(3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
(4) Buying beer, or
(5) Buying a tattoo

These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.

CONCLUSION:
Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.

No need to thank me - I’m just glad I could be of help.