Instructions that made us laugh

[Merrymeeting]

We have a wooden deck/patio near the water that was in place when we bought the house. It had been painted. We've switched to using a solid stain and most of the old stuff has long since peeled. But we still find that a re-coating is needed every 2-3 years.

In reading the instructions on the can today, we had to laugh.

"Surfaces must be sound and absolutely dry (moisture content must be below 15% or wood must be exposed to dry weather for a minimum of 3-5 days)"

"Do not apply in direct sunlight or to hot surfaces (remember I said this is on the waterfront), or when air or surface temperature is below 50 degrees or may fall below 50 degrees for 48 hours after application."

So, after power washing, we need to wait for 3-5 days of perfect weather for it to dry (at least we've had that for the past week to 10 days). We also need to wait until at least June so the nights don't go below 50. We need to apply it in the AM before the sun makes it hot, and after the sun has removed the morning dew, and we need to paint it when it will then be cloudy (but not rainy) for at least 48 hours.

In NH, we figure we have about a 4 hour window, once every 10 years.