Based on our recent experience:
We started the process about two years out. On the Selling side -
(1) Thoroughly research your local market to get a clear idea of the price your existing home will sell for (max/min) and how long it will take to sell (max/min). Set "wishful thinking" aside and be as realistic as possible - hope for the best, but plan for the worst.
(2) Identify a good real estate agent who is skilled as a sellers agent. Although most agents know how to show homes to perspective Buyers, in our experience very few, probably less than 5%, are skilled in assisting the Seller in marketing their home. As the seller, the sad truth is that most agents simply want to get your signature on a contract and then collect their commission.
(3) Prep you home for the market. A LARGE part of our two year lead-up to sale was devoted to packing and house prep (new paint inside and out, refinish all hardwood, replace worn floor coverings & counter tops, spruce up the landscaping, etc.) By the time the For Sale sign goes up you want your home to be picture perfect.
(4) Choose your mover. Research your many options and get written estimates of moving costs. Ask for references. Will your mover store your belongings for a period of time if necessary? On or off the truck? (If they have to remove your belongings for storage, both the cost and chance of damage typically go up exponentially.) Consider a PODS move.
(5) Time your listing. The real estate market is most active in the spring and early summer. A seller who lists their home in early August is likely to have a long wait and probably won't get top dollar for their property. These days, the internet will tell prospective buyers how long a home has been on the market and listings go "stale" all too quickly. Try to time your preparations so the house will be market-ready in March or early April.
On the Buying side -
(1) Describe the property you want. Give long and careful thought to exactly what you're looking for in a new home. Write down and prioritize your lists of "Must Haves", "Should Haves", and "Can Not Haves". This is important, because in the end you'll likely need to make compromises.
(2) Identify one or more good real estate agents in the area(s) you want to move to. Interview at least a half dozen. Look for one who is well established, thoroughly knows the local market, and is sincerely committed to helping you find, and close on, that one property that's right for you.
(3) Research the markets, both properties offered and those that have sold. Beginning well over a year before our target listing date, we spent many hours studying listings on the internet to get an understanding of the local markets. How do asking prices compare to selling prices? What specific factors affect selling prices - up or down? How can these be used to your advantage? How do different towns' tax rates compare?
(4) Get out and look at listed homes that you feel might meet your buying criteria. Well before you're actually in a position to make an offer, this is still an essential part of the buying process. A good real estate agent will understand. Keep a list of those properties that best meet your buying criteria and choose one as your benchmark . . . "If I had to buy today, this is the home I'd choose". When something better comes along, make that your new benchmark.
(5) Will you need a new mortgage? If you will be seeking a mortgage for your new home, choose a lender and make them a partner in your home search. You want to know that problems with financing will not derail your well thought out plans.
(6) Find answers to the "what ifs". If your house sells before you can close on your new home, where would you stay for a week? 30 days? An indefinite period? Relatives? A friend's camp? What does the rental market look like in your current area? In the new area? In your area, would a prospective buyer be willing to rent back your current home to you, short term, until you can close on a new home? How would the various options affect your financial plans?
We were fortunate. In two years of research, we found exactly one property that met all of our "Must Haves" (as well as many of our "Should Haves"). It had actually been our benchmark home for over a year. It had been on the market for a while and we knew the sellers were motivated. We sold our existing within six months of listing it for slightly less than we would have liked, paid slightly more than we had hoped for our new home, and closed on two consecutive days. We made one compromise on a "Must Have", which turned out to be a blessing in disguise. The move itself went like clockwork. But . . . if the purchase had not gone through as planned, we had a solid backup plan in place, and that gave us a lot of extra confidence during negotiations.
HTH
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