[Crusty]

Now that I'm retired, I am available to take lots of unwanted phone calls. I used to be polite, realizing that the person calling was just doing his/her job. Gradually, rudeness crept in. Now, it's a game. If it's a human caller, I generally announce that we're on "a recorded line". That frequently gets an immediate hang-up (and they don't call back).

Another fun one is to ask the caller "What credit card will you be using"? When they express confusion, I come back with "I charge $35 for the first 10 minutes and $10 for each additional 5 minutes." I don't let them change the subject. As of now, nobody has given me a card number.

My favorite though, is the guy who calls from "technical support" (or "Microsoft support" or "computer support'), ostensibly because they've "detected a virus" on my computer. I take on the persona of a put-upon consumer who is waiting for the return of his computer and berate the caller with demands for its immediate return. "You guys promised you'd have it fixed two days ago! What's the hold-up. I don't want excuses... where's my computer..."

The latest thorn in my side is the "interactive" robocall. These actually attempt to engage you --rather convincingly-- in a conversation. They will even answer your questions in a somewhat reasonable fashion. So far, I can reveal their mechanical origins by asking "Excuse me, but what is 3 plus 5?" They'll answer, but never with "8" (or any other number). Despite what the pundits say about the dangers of artificial intelligence, I fear that undetectable robocalls are truly the greatest menace to civilization.