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alsadad · 07-15-2008, 06:12 PM

I think this obsession with the speed limit issue is getting out of control in some quarters. This realization struck me last night as I read a thread about sound traveling at night. The thread began with a comment about a loud boat awakening rick35 while passing between Bear and Mark late at night. In the very first reply, someone stated that it will be even worse next year with the speed limit because it will take twice as long for the boats to pass by. The thread went right downhill from there. The next thing we know, I thought, someone will be petitioning the NH Legislature to overrule the laws of physics and impose a nighttime speed limit on sound waves.

It was very late, and I wanted desperately to go to bed. But I decided that before bed I had to find a thread somewhere on the forum that hadn’t degenerated into the mindlessly repetitive speed limit debate.

Yes, I thought, the gas prices thread! But no luck, after a few posts someone predicted that gas prices will do more to slow down boats than a speed limit, and others jumped in to support or refute that argument.

Then I saw the thread about snowmobiles skimming over the lake and thought this would be it. But no, in the very first thread Airwaves wondered whether this topic should be under the speed limits section and soon people were arguing over whether speed limits applied to skimmers.

Restaurant reviews, I thought. Those should be safe. But the review of Ricky’s Red Tide Shellfish Emporium in Wolfeboro soon devolved into an argument over the effect of speed limits on restaurant revenue: no one will go if it takes too long to get there; you’re wrong, more family boaters will come to the lake and patronize waterfront businesses, etc., etc.

I had begun to despair, but then, finally, I knew I’d found it. “Raspberries are ready” read the title. I began reading the posts: raspberries ready at Smith’s…$4 a quart…$3 a pint in the supermarket…raspberry jam…homemade ice cream… At last, now I can safely go to sleep. Then, suddenly, another post appeared in the thread. Someone had pasted a story from the local paper:

Boating Fatality Narrowly Averted
A Bear Island resident was saved from choking this afternoon by a quick-thinking fellow boater. The fortunate man, whose name is being withheld, had read on winnipesaukee.com that the raspberries were ripe at Smith’s Farm in Gilford. He took his boat to the Gilford town docks and hiked from there to Smith’s Farm to pick some. Anxious to return with his juicy loot, he raced across the Broads toward home. On the way he decided to sample the berries and shoveled a handful into his mouth. His boat struck the wake of the Mt. Washington and the sudden lurch caused some berries to become lodged in his throat. He began to choke and soon lost consciousness, slumping over the controls.

His now out of control 38’ GFBL approached a lone kayaker out for an afternoon paddle. As the speeding boat penetrated the kayak’s 150’ zone, the kayaker whipped off her bright blue bikini top and began waving it frantically to signal the boater. As the boat bore down on her she thought that she should have bought one of those stupid safety flags. As the boat raced by, just inches from the kayak, she saw that the driver was unconscious. Applying all of her prodigious kayaking skills, she chased down the careening boat and, in a daring feat, leapt from the kayak onto the boat. Then, using her superhuman strength, she lifted the beer-bellied, cigar-chomping, 300 pound man into position and applied the Heimlich Maneuver, dislodging the raspberries from his throat and clearing his airway.

When asked for her reaction to the incident, the hero replied, “Fortunately, once the speed limit takes effect next year, we will no longer be threatened by gluttons traveling faster than their ability to swallow.”

Now I fear I’ll never get to sleep.

07-15-2008, 06:12 PM	#107
alsadad Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 45 Thanks: 8 Thanked 41 Times in 10 Posts	When will it end? I think this obsession with the speed limit issue is getting out of control in some quarters. This realization struck me last night as I read a thread about sound traveling at night. The thread began with a comment about a loud boat awakening rick35 while passing between Bear and Mark late at night. In the very first reply, someone stated that it will be even worse next year with the speed limit because it will take twice as long for the boats to pass by. The thread went right downhill from there. The next thing we know, I thought, someone will be petitioning the NH Legislature to overrule the laws of physics and impose a nighttime speed limit on sound waves. It was very late, and I wanted desperately to go to bed. But I decided that before bed I had to find a thread somewhere on the forum that hadn’t degenerated into the mindlessly repetitive speed limit debate. Yes, I thought, the gas prices thread! But no luck, after a few posts someone predicted that gas prices will do more to slow down boats than a speed limit, and others jumped in to support or refute that argument. Then I saw the thread about snowmobiles skimming over the lake and thought this would be it. But no, in the very first thread Airwaves wondered whether this topic should be under the speed limits section and soon people were arguing over whether speed limits applied to skimmers. Restaurant reviews, I thought. Those should be safe. But the review of Ricky’s Red Tide Shellfish Emporium in Wolfeboro soon devolved into an argument over the effect of speed limits on restaurant revenue: no one will go if it takes too long to get there; you’re wrong, more family boaters will come to the lake and patronize waterfront businesses, etc., etc. I had begun to despair, but then, finally, I knew I’d found it. “Raspberries are ready” read the title. I began reading the posts: raspberries ready at Smith’s…$4 a quart…$3 a pint in the supermarket…raspberry jam…homemade ice cream… At last, now I can safely go to sleep. Then, suddenly, another post appeared in the thread. Someone had pasted a story from the local paper: Boating Fatality Narrowly Averted A Bear Island resident was saved from choking this afternoon by a quick-thinking fellow boater. The fortunate man, whose name is being withheld, had read on winnipesaukee.com that the raspberries were ripe at Smith’s Farm in Gilford. He took his boat to the Gilford town docks and hiked from there to Smith’s Farm to pick some. Anxious to return with his juicy loot, he raced across the Broads toward home. On the way he decided to sample the berries and shoveled a handful into his mouth. His boat struck the wake of the Mt. Washington and the sudden lurch caused some berries to become lodged in his throat. He began to choke and soon lost consciousness, slumping over the controls. His now out of control 38’ GFBL approached a lone kayaker out for an afternoon paddle. As the speeding boat penetrated the kayak’s 150’ zone, the kayaker whipped off her bright blue bikini top and began waving it frantically to signal the boater. As the boat bore down on her she thought that she should have bought one of those stupid safety flags. As the boat raced by, just inches from the kayak, she saw that the driver was unconscious. Applying all of her prodigious kayaking skills, she chased down the careening boat and, in a daring feat, leapt from the kayak onto the boat. Then, using her superhuman strength, she lifted the beer-bellied, cigar-chomping, 300 pound man into position and applied the Heimlich Maneuver, dislodging the raspberries from his throat and clearing his airway. When asked for her reaction to the incident, the hero replied, “Fortunately, once the speed limit takes effect next year, we will no longer be threatened by gluttons traveling faster than their ability to swallow.” Now I fear I’ll never get to sleep.