[Mee-n-Mac]

From the This Just In Dept:

HEADLINE : Executive Council investigating more abuse; "It's a massacre !"

After finishing with the Meredith Ice Fishing Derby, dubbed the "Derby of Destruction" by the executive counsillior, the council has announced it'll now turn it's attention to another abuse of NH's wildlife. Executive counsillior Peta S. said that "in numbers alone this far outstrips even the fishing fiasco. It's a mosquito massacre !" Bureau of Wildlife biologist I. M. True says while he hasn't compiled a complete count of the states blood-suckers he's really, really quite sure that the population is not suffering from any decline what-so-ever. Despite the biology report minor counsillior Dweeb P. quickly quipped "that just because we can kill them doesn't mean people should !!". Co-executice counsillior Rube G. said "even though I never go outside, I've seen video of people using bug zappers and mosquito magnets to rid their property of these natural resources. All they do is stand around eating and drinking and cooking on the BBQ. When one of the poor lil guys get zapped, they all laugh. It's disgusting !!!" Dweeb P. added "We don't even electrocute our prisoners anymore, so how can anyone justify this senseless waste of our insect inheritance !?!?!" The council commanded that the Bureau of Wildlife, Entomology Lab (BoWEL) move quickly to establish an accurate accounting of all the states stock of mosquitos and suggest some methods of addressing people's misuse of the critters. "We're not just going to sit back on our stools and watch this crap happen !!@#$!! " said Peta S.



In a non-related story I. M. True notified the BoW that he's seeking employment elsewhere at the end of the month. "I'm happy that my experience advising the council has trained me well for my future endevours." When asked what that might be, True replied "I'm persuing a job as a chauffeur in the circus. You know the little car that drives out, stops and then out come the clowns."