Agree with BT, that the practice, of making new home builder pay for needed electrical service upgrades is not uncommon.......What is needed will that is up to the the electrical company, and the town inspector.... What you really want to understand, is what you will be responsible for it something gets damaged.
Generally anything before the meter is the responsibility of the electric company to maintain.
Additionally I would have the electrical company come out and meet with you they will explain why they are requiring what they are.... they may also have suggestions about alternative paths, that you have not considered that may change what infrastructure you have to put in place...
As someone else said as you are building new, and likely going to have earth moving equipment on site, I would suggest putting what you can underground....
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