My general rule, and one that I try and instill in my children, is to be aware of the setting you are in, be tolerant of others, don’t make assumptions, and when out in public, my behavior should not negatively impact others’ experience.
To the points of the OP, someone wearing a hat in a fine restaurant - not something I would do and I would ask my children to remove theirs if they’re with me. Don’t wear hats inside - it’s the polite thing to do. That said, if someone wears one, it doesn’t negatively impact my dining experience.
Loud, unruly, boorish behavior, whether from a child or adult, does impact my experience and should not happen in a fine restaurant. If you’re loud and obnoxious in a bar or pub setting, it’s not something I do, but that can be part of the environment and I know that when I frequent a bar, pub, or other such establishment.
Being rude, condescending, or just a jerk is never okay.
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