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Barney Fife Realty

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Posted 11-18-2019 at 09:55 AM by Roy Sanborn

Barney Fife Realty

There were 677 single family homes on the market in the fourteen Lakes Region communities covered by this report as of November 1, 2019. The average asking price was $621,082 and the median asking price point came in at $349,900. On November 1, 2018 there were 712 homes on the market, the average asking price was $651,002 and the median price point was $339,900. The current inventory level represents a 7.8-month supply of homes on the market.

Anyone can be a real estate agent. Yup. Even Deputy Barney Fife. In Season 6 Episode 15 on the Andy Griffith Show which aired way back in 1965 Sheriff Andy Taylor comes into the P.D. to learn that Barney has taken on a new part time gig as a real estate agent. Andy asks, “Since when have you been in real estate?”

Barney says since he bumped into Mr. Summer, the real estate man, at the diner yesterday and he got him thinking. Barney explains to Andy that Mr. Summer just sits around his office all day smoking a big fat cigar and he never stirs until someone wants to buy something. Then he takes them out in that old rattle trap of a car of his and if they buy, he collects five percent. Barney exclaims, “Well, has he got it made or has he got it made!”

Barney brags he already has two deals cooking because he made ten phone calls last night, just kind of fishing in the dark, and he got two bites! Andy asks who and Barney says that the Clarks and the Mortensons both want bigger houses. He figures he is going to put the Clarks in the Mortensons’ house and the Mortensons in the Simms’ house if he can find them what they want.

Barney exclaims that he has “been in business less than twenty-four hours and he has learned something fantastic.”

Andy asks, “What’s that?”

Barney replies that “Everyone wants to sell their house!” He expertly explains to Andy that nine out of ten people aren’t completely happy with the house they live in and would sell in a minute if someone gave them a little “nudge.”

Andy says as he sips on some coffee, “Well, I can tell you one fella that’s completely happy with the house he’s living in, and that’s me!”
Ever the consummate deal making professional, Barney coyly says “Ayup, what if I told you the Williams’ house was available?”

Andy responds, “You mean the big white house out on the highway with the big trees?”

Barney says, “Uh huh, the one you always point out to me when we drive by. Would you sell your house if I told you I could put you in the Williams’ house?” Andy asks how he knows if the Williams want to sell, to which Barney replies that he had called them last night and they said they would sell if they got the right price.

Andy shrugs and says “Oh, they probably want a whole lot!”

Barney zeroes in and says, “What if I told you I could put you in that little unit for $3,500?”

Andy replies unbelieving, “Your kidding, $3,500?!”

“Sure,” silver tongued Barney explains, “we can get $24,000 for your place, we can pick up the Williams for $27,500 and you can get a mortgage at the bank for the difference and pfftt! You’re in the Williams’ house!”

Andy starts giggling about this being such a far-fetched idea, but you can see he has been “nudged” appropriately. The hook, as they say, has been set.

Andy goes home to find his son, Opie, trying to sell his bicycle to another kid named Tyler for five dollars. Tyler asks Andy if he thinks that’s a fair price. Andy asks if Opie had told him about the coaster brake slipping? Tyler says no, what about the coaster brake? Opie explains it doesn’t do it all the time. Andy then says that the chain is worn and keeps coming apart where it is wired together. Opie laments that all you gotta do is put another piece of wire in there. Andy also points out that the inner tubes are shot and covered with patches.

Tyler angrily says, “You haven’t told me any of this stuff!”

Opie indignantly responds, “You never asked!”

Tyler says, “So what, you should have told me anyway.”

Andy tells Opie that when you are selling something that the buyer has a right to know everything that’s wrong with it, otherwise it is not quite honest.
Opie tells Tyler he will let him have the bike for four dollars to which Tyler responds, “I wouldn’t take this hunk of junk if you gave it to me!”

So, we have learned some real estate from this tale so far. 1. Anyone can be a real estate agent. 2. Real estate agents don’t do much. 3.Everyone will sell their home if nudged properly. 4. And tell your buyer that the coaster brake doesn’t work all the time. More to come on this episode after next week’s Waterfront Report. Until then, don’t call Barney.
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