The Real Estate Emergency Resuce Vehicle

If you are reading this then the world didn’t end as predicted. But 2012 is coming to an end soon and we are headed down the homestretch with 86 residential sales last month in the communities listed in this Lakes Region real estate market report. That’s a 44% increase over the 60 sales posted last November! The average sales price came in at $332,653 with a median price point of $172,600. There have been 858 residential home sales at an average of $301,311 for the first eleven months of 2012 compared to 684 transactions at an average of $306,504 for the same period last year. That’s a 26% increase in the total number of sales over last year which is great! Over half (57%) of the transactions were under the $200,000 mark compared to 50% last year, so there is a bit of a edge toward the lower priced homes and that definitely affects the overall average sales price.

I have always tried to keep up with the current real estate trends and be as forward thinking and innovative as I possibly could in order to better serve my clients. It seemed to me that something was missing in the way of real estate services but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it until I saw a commercial on TV for Best Buy and the Geek Squad. You know, the Geek Squad are the guys in the white VW Beetles with black fenders that will come out to take care of your computer emergency. That got me thinking.



I am excited to announce that I am taking delivery of the area’s first Real Estate Emergency Rescue Vehicle. Actually, it is the first of its kind in the entire country, so this is really a pretty big deal. Truthfully, I already had the vehicle, but I am taking delivery of the highly expensive medical equipment to outfit it. Given the near epidemic proportion of real estate emergencies I am surprised no one else thought of this before. These emergencies are a direct result of all the stress, tension, and anxiety that goes with selling a home and range from simple maladies such as headaches to life threatening events such as a heart attack or stroke. These issues may be best dealt with at home and not at the emergency room at the local hospital (you know, all these new insurance laws cause even more stress, anger, and further complications.)

I have a supercharged Mini Cooper which is pretty quick so I can get to the distressed client before an ambulance. It is kind of small, but speed is the thing here and I am not going to be transporting patients like those other emergency vehicles. I am taking out the back seat (as no one can sit on it anyway) and installing the equipment necessary to handle the most common ailments encountered in real estate transactions. Since blue and red strobe lights are already in use by those other emergency providers I am utilizing green lights to let everyone knows that this is a real estate emergency and that they should immediately pull over to let us by.



The most important pieces of equipment in my vehicle are defibrillators (you know; the paddles) for heart attack victims. These are used most commonly after (a) the seller is told what his home is worth in this market or (b) a seller receives his first low ball offer. I will also have oxygen on board for those sellers that are having trouble breathing. The tanks are also piped into the Mini’s engine intake to give it a little more power. I am also going to carry smelling salts but that’s not as much fun as using the paddles. For those sellers that have been self medicating a little too much in an attempt to reduce stress, I will have adrenaline on board so I can inject it directly into their heart if they overdose and become non-responsive. I am also going to carry smelling salts but that’s not as much fun as using the paddles or stabbing someone with a six inch long needle. Of course, these are the extreme emergencies.

I really expect most rescue calls will be for less serious issues. Homeowners that are stressed out to the max may experience dizziness, headaches, and sleeplessness. These symptoms can easily be controlled with proper medication and counseling. The Mini will be stocked with a variety of pharmaceuticals to dispense for these conditions. No home seller should go without a restful night’s sleep. As an experienced real estate agent, I have been counseling sellers for years anyway so I will need no additional training in that area. Psychiatry has always been an integral part of our profession and we go to many continuing education classes to stay up to date on the latest and greatest.



Some of the emergency calls are from buyers who also a succumb to the stress of trying to find the perfect home. Most stress, however, comes as a result of the financing process which has almost become unbearable for the new home buyer no matter how good his financial health is. It seems like the lenders have also gotten into internal medicine and are specializing in financial colonoscopies. Unfortunately, they are performing them without anesthesia so this is a very, very painful process for anyone. I have had a number of buyers who have experienced total mental breakdowns as a result of this intrusive procedure. It’s not a pretty sight.

As a cooperating agent and member of the National Association of REALTORS®, I will render emergency service to any seller or buyer regardless of who they are working with. It is the least I can do. Please call 1-888-8RE-HELP if you or a loved one is experiencing a real estate health emergency.