I have used the tow bar on al my Pontoons without issues. Definitely not too high whatsoever.
I don't see anything wrong with 5 year old going by himself as long as he is not scared, he is properly equipped with the right PFD, and you go very slow and use common sense. However that being said, I personally would look for a neighbor or friend who wants to go for a boat ride as a spotter and have your wife sit in the tube with your 5 year old, at least for the first few times.
Also, make sure you use a proper "tow line", not rope from the hardware store. Tow lines float and will stay out of your prop.
As far as type of tube, I recommend you visit "Parafunalia"in Gilford. They have a good selection of tubes. they will tell you which ones would be best for your circumstance.
Good luck!
Dan
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